Summertime is thunderstorm time. When your child is afraid, it takes some extra love and care to help them through, especially for very young children. Here are some quick and easy tips to help you comfort your child when the storms of summer are passing through.
Acknowledge your child's feelings
If you've ever been told not be scared, you know it doesn't go far to calm a fear. Let your child know you recognize her feelings and that you are there with her. She doesn't have to hide how she feels when she is afraid or upset. Give comfort in ways that are natural for you. Holding a child close, especially if they very young, can be comforting for many children. Feel out how your child reacts and try to find what works best.
Read a story
Associate the storm and sounds with a story that your child can relate to, like Baby Thunder. Every child has the experience of being separated, even if just for a short time, or even truly lost, just like Baby Thunder. They can imagine the noise and light as Mama and Papa searching - the story takes them outside of their own immediate experience and distracts them from the pure experience of the noise and light. Children are capable of great empathy and wonder so engage them in questions about the story. During a storm, ask your child who they think they can hear - Baby, Mama, or Papa Thunder calling out. You can even invent new parts of the story based on what you hear or see in a particular thunderstorm and that relate to your family and life.
Add your own soundtrack
Loud noises are startling for anyone. Diffusing the sounds of a loud thunderclap can help it seem less intense. Try one of these options:
Your voice: The sounds you make give queues to your child. When you react to lightning and thunder with "ooohs" and "aaahs" your child will be a little more likely to shift fear toward wonder. This can even begin to awaken a sense of awe for weather and nature.
Music: Play or sing some favorite songs. Put some soothing or upbeat music. Let the child play pots and pans.
Visual: You can try distracting your child with video or TV
Reduce the noise
If your child is especially sensitive to the sound of thunder, there are several steps you can take to reduce sounds.
Go to an interior room of your home or basement (the best places to stay safe for severe storms)
Cover your child's ears when you see lightening and know thunder is coming. If you think it makes your child more anxious to anticipate the noise, try playing with her hair and gently cover her ears when the thunder is coming, or get your face and hands close in a cuddle. If it works for you and your child, you can simply cover her ears each time you see lightening - she may even learn to do this herself as a self-soothing technique.
Headphones can also be used to cover your baby's ears. Noise cancelling headphones work well to deaden outside noise and can be a simple trick especially for babies when the above solutions may not be as effective. The drawback is she also won't hear you.
Use Distraction
Get creative: Make a tent using couch cushions or hang sheets over furniture or a table. This can help a child feel a little more 'protected' and cozy.
Get cozy: Get your child's favorite toys, some soft blankets and pillows and find a cozy spot.
Food: Try making a special snack - a favorite treat or something that is special just for these occasions. Over time, having something special to look forward to may begin to counterbalance feelings of anxiety of an approaching storm.
Watch the weather and plan ahead
If you have a child who is afraid of storms, keep your eyes and ears to the weather so you can plan ahead. That way, you can put yourself in the best possible location, and be prepared with the tools above to weather the storm.
Let caregivers know
Make sure anyone who cares for your child knows about his fears. That may include daycare provides, grandparents, babysitters, playgroup leaders, etc. Let them know what works for your child so they can be prepared with the best ways to care for him during a sto
Be patient
Fears can take time to overcome. The important thing is to get through frightening times together and letting him know you are there by his side. Over time, you will chip away at the fear, leaving memories of comfort and love. Many children outgrow fears in time. Helping them through in a supportive way helps him build self esteem and learn to cope with other discomfort in life.
If, despite your best efforts, your child continues to be inconsolable and fear is interfering with sleep, appetite, social activities, you may want to reach out to your child's doctor, child psychiatrist, or counselor.